Disappointing Tuesday

Tuesday was a strange day. I was up a bit earlier and was feeling the lack of sleep going into the day. I missed breakfast and got right into work instead after a hot shower. I had a lot of short meetings and some calls lined up for the day. The biggest of which was at the end of the day. I had some time to work first thing in the morning and powered through a few things before preparing for my upcoming meetings. It was busy but didn’t feel like I was getting ahead of things, that seems to be the way of it now. I had a meeting over lunch but took a break afterwards to consume some soup. It was a meagre feeling lunch but I was more focused on hydrating than eating. I wanted to replenish my reserves after a dry weekend. I had fairly long call after lunch to talk about seed supply with my US colleagues. I think next time we’re going to be getting into more of my order than the later stuff and I’m ready for that. The last item scheduled was a critical meeting to learn about what was holding up a critical process. The news wasn’t good. It was disappointing. We suggested some ideas and the team tried to come up with a way around the difficulty. I pulled in other people afterwards. No aspect of overly positive. There is a meeting happening tomorrow morning and the key contacts are slated to check in with me right after. I am getting really frustrated by my fate being controlled by others or by systems that I have no access to. It makes me feel both angry and helpless. And also guilty and anxious because I can’t give the customer a good answer to their question because I don’t know. I’m going to have to hold some feet to flames this week to get this done. I finished at half five after another call to keep a teammate informed and then I fired up dinner. Tonight it consisted of chili and rice. I described this meal last week so I won’t take the time here. After eating I fooled in some time with a game on the Mini while ripping through podcasts before finishing my evening watching some YouTube. Some people watch trash on cable, I do it online. I was in bed and managed to get to sleep before eleven, a good start to restfulness. I booked tomorrow off and it’s one of the days I plan to actually take.