Frustration

I don’t remember all the details of this day, which is fine because I’d like to block out as much of it as possible. The morning started like many before it. Up around seven, showered and dressed, nice breakfast. I was at the helm at eight and ready to rock. I was really looking for that confirmation still and nothing came through. Time started to slip away, precious time. It was still fired up from the previous day’s silence. Nothing and more nothing. I knew that my window would be closed at three in the afternoon. For time zone reasons I held back from losing my mind. I worked on other things to occupy my mind. It was around this time that my computer imploded.

Luckily it was only toast for a short time, maybe ten minutes or so. I suspect it is related to me firing up Skype for the first time in months and trying to use it to contact this person, on the off chance that was their IM platform of choice. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was reaching maximum frustration. Not since the time I got a rock stuck in my combine and missed two days of harvest dealing with it alone have I been this perturbed. I was fit to be tied as my grandpa used to say. I made a move. I sent a note pleading for an update and tagged the supervisor and all teammates onto it. It is a dick move for sure but I needed information. Some whispers from a teammate but nothing helpful. That’s how I went into lunch. It was the same as most days. Soup and a processed panini. I think I had the special steak one, in a bid to cheer myself up. It didn’t work. After some more emails and pleading they reached out. We spent an hour a call. Most of it was just me watching the paperwork get made. Seeing the sausage get made wasn’t that fun but that time, I had all the time in the world for it. By the end of it, all the paperwork was completed for three shipments and he was working on booking a truck. But it was mid afternoon! Luckily, we were able to move the seed to an alternative warehouse to keep it available for pickup, meaning we could ship tomorrow still. That was not in the cards when the day started. All hope was not yet lost. But nothing was confirmed either. I ended the day in limbo. And my colleague was sick, the reason I couldn’t reach them was because they were out getting their second dose of vaccine and wasn’t feeling great. I didn’t have sympathy, simply thought, “must be nice!” I was supposed to make an elaborate dinner but really felt like I just needed to hit the easy button with some comfort food. That is what happened with a bog bowl of air fryer perogies. I topped them with some shredded cheese and Great Value brand sriracha ranch dipping sauce. That put me down a peg.

I didn’t do anything productive. Not that I normally do in the evenings. I grabbed my Mini and disappeared into HomeScapes and then YouTube for a couple hours. At half eight I had a scheduled video chat, one on one, with the Sexy Bitch. It had been close to six months since we’d talked. He’s generally busy with his three kids and various camps and clubs he runs. We had a good chat, meandering over a vast territory. Updating each other on our lives and what was new for us. We talked a lot about the virus and how the pandemic was affecting us. It was nice to catchup and fun to do on video, more like a real conversation. We were both pretty tired by the conclusion of our visit and bed seemed like a logical step. With such a refreshing palette cleanser you’d think I had been unburdened of the day’s stress. This was not the case. I couldn’t get to sleep until much later than appropriate, it was nearly midnight when I finally found the slumber.