Intense Tuesday

I woke up close to seven and get ready to rock. Today had a hot waffle iron full of meetings on the docket. I made my usual breakfast fare. I was heavily considering the walk, even had the shoes in my had but I bailed on it like a coward. I do really hate myself for that. I had such nice momentum going a couple of weeks ago then I stopped suddenly one day because it rained and that’s been it. Frustrating. I was at work extra early today, at half seven I was in the saddle. I scheduled a larger meeting with some key players to help smash my professional hurdle, it will be tomorrow as I had to account for German time zones. Let the anticipation begin. For the day at hand I had a meeting with my team and needed to bring them up to speed. I wrote out a good amount ahead of time of what I needed to cover. There were notifications going out to my contacts about seed and with each that went out I got about three questions. I was buzzing for most of the morning, I felt like a hummingbird, just ripping around getting after it. I’d sent and received a mountain of emails and calls before reading my speech to the team. For lunch I had a Campbell’s vegetable soup with two pizza buns. It was unremarkable but effective. The afternoon I did some preparation for an upcoming request and worked through some other issues before a long, crucial meeting. I spent some time sorting and prioritizing smaller issues with a colleague afterwards. The list isn’t getting much shorter and I’ve got a lot of balls in the air right now. It’s definitely a stressful time of year. The fall and deployment are busy and intense but I have control of things and I’m quite comfortable handling the process. The spring is a different animal. I have control over almost nothing and mainly act as a middle man. Getting ragged from one side and having to continually rag the other. It’s not my favourite part of the job. When it goes smooth or close to that then it can be sorta fun. Last year had a lot of issues with COVID, this year is systems issues. Either way, my tenure has been rife with issues. By the end of the day I was feeling pretty gassed, nervous and frustrated. I felt a little defeated again too. I feel like I’m letting my customers down and I know that not everyone else is feeling that. With little energy to cook and a still blank meal board I went weird with it. I microwaved four sausage patties and a pair of english muffins. I made a couple of stackers out of that with a generous portion of sriracha ranch dipping sauce and some sliced cheese. On the side I put in a sack of breakfast potatoes in the air fryer. I took half now and put the other half in the fridge for later use. I plated it up and cracked a Dr Pepper alongside my water. It was a lot. I think for this meal in particular I was definitely eating my feelings. When I look back now at that time a few hours ago, emotionally I was not in a healthy place and that meal was the result. I think I was looking to eat so much it felt like I was getting a hug for my stomach. That makes no sense but it isn’t a good habit. Most people would exercise to squash those feelings, I eat. It’s part of my problem.

After destroying this meal and using the pop as dessert I made my way to my lair and started up FS19. Today I went for extra stimulation and had the Mini propped up on the side rolling through YouTube videos as I played. I’ve got the biggest tractor and cultivator in the game. I also bought a huge sprayer to pull but it’s a bit of a bugger as you have to keep an eye on it to do a good job. Left alone the helper is bound to hit things or only do half the field to avoid hitting things. It’s a trifle annoying. My operation is getting big now, I’ll have to consider consolidating fields to make it manageable. I kept at that until nearly ten, when I cashed in for the day.