#DW2016 - Chapter 4 — The Tugboat

I am hoping that I can squeeze everything to make this final and concluding chapter of the story. After all, I was never even planning to have three full chapters, let alone four. This must be what George R.R. Martin feels like. Really? You write a boring little diddy about a weekend and you're trying to compare it to one of the greatest and most complex literary sagas of all time? They already teach courses on those books at UCLA! Anyways, the final chapter begins with everyone waking up later than usual. Beer Guy, and I were at the dock, GRP and Cheese were having a chat and Poppa Jack was sleeping. He slept more in those two days than any human I've seen sleep in two days. Poor guy had to recharge his battery after dealing with stressful items at work, including his big presentation. When he awoke, he made us breakfast, burrito style! It was tasty, as Cheese commented back on Chapter 1, it was late in the morning, almost into lunch. While we ate, we watched part of the original VHS of Star Wars: A New Hope, Han shot first! Then it was back outside. Beer Guy and Brown strung my fishing rod for me. Then they took off in the paddle boat to fish for about four hours. The rest of us played the bocce followed by the stickball. We upped the ante with drinking related rules. The having to finish a full beer per inning rule was of no consequence for the Tugboat, having downed a beer in the first few batters usually. It was a mockery of stickball. GRP learned how to hit homeruns. He and Jacky were the only ones to consistently hit them. After the very long game we settled back to the dock to enjoy the sun and the waves. It was during this period that my beloved FitBit slipped from my shorts and settled on the bottom of the lake. An hour later I noticed it missing and found it immediately. GRP fished it out. It worked just fine, still have had no issues with it. Amazing. Once Brown and Beer Guy got back we were basically ravenous having the late breakfast and just chiiiiiipppppppssss to tide us over. Before the sun sank to the horizon Brown had prepared his meal. He cooked up well over twenty pounds of chicken wings. There was no counting going on but I'm confident that I ate over four pounds. There were multiple pounds left at the end of the feast. That food got eaten so fast and furious that several of us had to take a nap after dinner, out of sheer necessity. I guess they finished the movie while I was down. The next portion of the adventure was the fire. GRP and Beer Guy hunted down the wood in the dark of my truck while I slept. I awoke to a great blaze in the fire pit. Cheese shared his smore kit and Beer Guy his weiners as a strong snack was consumed. The bugs were of minimal consequence as well. Brown and I went inside fairly early, Jacky Boy was asleep shortly after. The other three huddled around the fire until much later. The last item of note was what happened in the night. It was around 3:26am when it happened. There was a loud crash that sent vibrations through the floor, then a scream, then a yell of WTF?! I imagined them trying to work the AC and pushing it through the wall onto the BBQ and destroying them both and costing me the exorbitant security deposit. I rushed into the living room, just Brown and Jack slumbering. Then I checked GRP's room, he was asleep. On his back, with his feet together and hands clasped on his chest. Like a corpse. I turned on the light and scanned around, nothing wrong. I entered the final bedroom to find Cheese in the bed confused and Beer Guy on the floor wriggling out from under a fallen heavy tube TV. I guess in his madness to urinate he thought the dresser upon which it sat was the door and was desperately trying to open it until he shook it hard enough the TV fell on him. Luckily his leg broke its fall. He got a nice bruise and scratch but otherwise was unharmed. Had it been slightly to either side it would have either crushed Cheese's sunglasses or his head. We're all pretty glad neither happened, especially the head! So needless to say we all had something to talk about the next day and an event to punctuate the weekend for us. Remember the time when the Beer Guy tried to pee in a dresser and almost killed Cheese? Good times to come. That concludes my tale, I hope you enjoyed it, assuming you read all the chapters. Can't wait for the next adventure!

Tugboat working on some shoulder burns while stuffing his face before any more squirrels can get into those chiiiiiiippppppsssss!

Anyone hungry for wings? We even had three delicious sauce options!